Job Fair Atlanta

Should my father help support my mother while I am in college?

I am a 20 year old college student in the Atlanta, Georgia area. I am a Pre-Med Biology major, and have plans to become a medical doctor specializing in trauma and emergency medicine. I commute about 60 miles 3 days a week for college. Recently, I have lost my job due to the economy. My dad has always had to pay about $800/month in child support to my mom, for the past 2 years, he has not had to. I live with my mom in a fairly large house, and she, as a single mom, pays all of the bills. She is an emergency room physician as well. Today, she and I added up how much she spends on me, it is roughly about $900 per month. My dad gives me $20 a week for gas. It doesn't even fill my tank all the way, and I end up asking my mom for extra gas money by the end of the week. Do you think that this is fair? Should I confront my dad about this situation? My mom has let it go for years now, and will not talk to him about it. I personally would like to confront him about the issue, and tell him I think it's unfair. What is your opinion? Any advice is welcome.

Public Comments

1. what kind of dad will not work together with their wife to help u in colledge. if i was u i would go straight up to him like he was a bully and set him straight. lol u live in georgia so do i conyers geogia
2. I think you should just sit down with him and talk to him in a calm manor, you don't want to upset him but at the same time you want him to understand where you stand. Maybe go out to eat with him or something and just tell him that the 20 isnt really filling up my gas tank and i would appreciate it if i could get a little extra help, also think about what kind of situation he is in, is he struggling or is he comfortable. Just remember to be cool calm and collective and he should understand
3. Obviously the order of support for you was until you turned 18. Your father doesn't even HAVE to give you that $20 a week. He is no longer obligated to support you, not to mention the fact that YOU are an adult. Get off your butt and look for another job rather than whine about how unfair it is.
4. You may not like what it is that I have to say. I am also in my early twenties as well. I am a full time college student, and yes, I have felt the strain of the economy. It is not your fathers, nor your mothers responsibility to pay your bills, nor to put you through college. It is your own. You are a twenty year old adult. Did your father pay child support until you were 18? Did he spend time with you, while you were growing up? At eighteen the state no longer requires of him to pay child support. Why? Because at eighteen you are an adult. You are expected to be independent. You need to look for a job. I know how rough it can be. I got laid off earlier in the year, and then finally found one. Your dad has done nothing wrong. He is being a man, trying to make a woman out of you. A real father, would help his daughter establish independence. Too many parents are a crutch to their kids. They give them money, cars, college paid for, and their kids just party like crazy with it. Your dad knows that you are twenty, a good student, and responsible. At his age, he knows the affects that allowing you to depend too much on himself, can later weaken you, and cause you problems. Your mother, is being a typical mom, emotional, always wanting to help her baby. She still sees you as her little girl. Your dad loves you, but he wants you to do it on your own. He knows it will grow you in so many ways, strengthen you beyond your peers. Twenty a week is nothing to complain about. My dad has not given me a cent toward my education. I appreciate that a lot. Right now, I am struggling very badly, to stay in school and to pay all of my bills. I am hurting money wise. My dad just stands on the sidelines and watches. It is called tough love. It is called teaching me to be a strong, independent woman, that has her the ability to conquer any adversity. This is the difference between how a man raises his child and a woman. If your mom had the finances to, she would pay for everything. Your dad refuses to do so. It is just the facts. The difference between a dad, and a mom. One day, you will really appreciate it. Do not talk down about your dad. Do not feel like he is not doing what he ought to be. You make him sound like the kind of guy that gets a woman pregnant and then walks out. He is still there for you, he is just not going to be a crutch. He wants for you to work your way through life, and to be capable of making decisions on your own. My dad, he is the same way. A man's man. Your mom might be struggling. Find a job, I KNOW how rough it is to work full time and to go to college full time. It is very difficult, not only to I work full time, but I also have a part time job as well. i sleep between 3-5 hrs a night, the rest of the time I study and work, and have no social life. I know that one day it will all pay off. Work now, play later. As it one day, shall all be worth it for me, you will find that it will for you as well. Sit that father of yours down, and thank him sincerely for his tough love. Explain your situation, and then tell him that you appreciate what he is teaching you. Trust me, one day, you will find something that you want more than anything else in the world. No one will be there to support you. This lesson your father has given to you, will come back in that moment. In that moment, your peers won't make it through the adversity of getting to the top, while you will. It will be because your father, had the wisdom to teach you this concept of never letting an obstacle such as finances or hardship hold you back for a dream. Best of luck.
5. You should not confront him. As much as I believe that we should help our children with college it is an option and not an obligation. He does not have to do it and you should be grateful for what he does give you. If you need a little more money you should check into working. What can you spend $900 a month on?
6. Your mom is a dr. If she wants to support you through college, get a smaller home and you should get a new job. You are no longer a child. Your father has no further obligation to support you. My kids got loans the last two years of school, and we have money. We just aren't interested in creating monsters.
7. To me sounds like ur dad is being a jerk, these days it takes way more than 20 dollars to fill up a car. If he loved u he would give ya more. I come from a family where my dad left when i was 3 and he didnt even pay child support at all my mom did all the work and we struggled alot. If the college has dorms you could try to get in those unless u have to be living very far away. just dont give up trying to find a job i know its hard to find. Well i hope my answer helped ya out let me know